Chapter 19

The rut had finally burned itself out, leaving Jaeha feeling hollowed from within.

The heat that had threatened to unravel his sanity only hours earlier was gone when he awoke, as though the dawn had washed every trace of it from his skin.

“Hungry.”

The single word jolted his sluggish mind awake. Jaeha flinched, his heart stumbling hard against his ribs. Taegeon had fallen asleep with both arms locked firmly around Jaeha’s waist, his face now buried in the crook of Jaeha’s neck.

“Hungry…?” Jaeha managed to whisper.

“Lee Jaeha, you might not be hungry after eating your fill of me, but I am.”

“I… I’ll make you something right away.”

Jaeha scrambled beneath the sheets, his thoughts already spinning. He tried to remember what remained in the refrigerator. Park Myeongsun had not gone grocery shopping recently, but perhaps there were enough ingredients left from yesterday’s preparations to put together a decent meal.

The moment he tried to push himself upright, however, all strength drained from his body. He gasped and nearly pitched off the edge of the mattress, but Taegeon’s arm shot out and caught him around the waist, hauling him back before he could fall.

“Is that stupidity or courage?” Taegeon clicked his tongue, mock reproach thickening his voice. “Do you honestly not remember how much we did yesterday?”

Jaeha struggled to catch his breath, unable to summon an answer. Taegeon had pulled him back with such force that he was now practically seated in the Alpha’s lap.

Neither of them wore a stitch of clothing. Jaeha’s bare buttocks pressed firmly against the unmistakable, throbbing evidence of Taegeon’s arousal.

A furious crimson flooded Jaeha’s face. He could feel Taegeon smirking against his skin, the man’s broad chest vibrating with a low, amused chuckle.

It was too much. The exposure, the helpless vulnerability, and the humiliation of sitting naked atop Taegeon’s sturdy frame beneath the merciless glare of daylight overwhelmed him.

“Let me go,” he finally managed.

“Why?” Taegeon’s voice dipped with amusement. “Are you afraid that, unless I know better, this bastard might decide to go another round?”

“I… I never thought that.”

Jaeha’s frantic denial only made Taegeon laugh. The Alpha pressed his lips to the nape of Jaeha’s neck, lingering there in a slow, possessive kiss that sent a sharp flare of sensation down his spine.

Only then did Jaeha realize Taegeon was merely teasing him.

He knows how to joke, too.

Unaware that his ears had turned hot enough to burst into flame, Jaeha let out a small, involuntary laugh.

Apparently satisfied that he had rattled his spouse enough, Taegeon lifted Jaeha by the waist and gently settled him back onto the mattress.

Embarrassed by the harsh sunlight pouring freely into the bedroom, Jaeha seized the duvet and dragged it over himself, shielding as much of his body as possible.

Taegeon looked down at him, his expression easing into something lighter, almost merciful. “Do you really think that covers anything?”

“It… it’s better than nothing.”

“Try harder,” Taegeon murmured, a dark gleam flickering in his eyes. “I’m almost beginning to find you endearing.”

He planted one heavy hand beside Jaeha’s waist, leaned down, and bit firmly into the line of his collarbone.

“Ah!”

Jaeha’s startled cry escaped before he could suppress it. Taegeon soothed the sting with a slow, deliberate sweep of his tongue, then finally straightened.

“Stay here and let yourself be taken care of,” Taegeon ordered. “If I catch you fluttering around, I’ll assume you want me to finish this on the dining table.”

The possibility alone was terrifying.

Jaeha had been born an Alpha, adhered to a punishing fitness regimen, and maintained his body with military precision. Even so, every night spent with Taegeon reduced his stamina to nothing.

His thighs were so sore that he could barely close them, and a dull, unspeakable ache throbbed throughout his lower body. Faint tenderness still lingered in the places where Taegeon had gripped him too tightly.

Even then, Jaeha’s restless nature refused to let him remain still. “I want to help.”

Taegeon was already bending to retrieve his discarded lounge pants from the floor. He did not bother with underwear, and the thin fabric clung openly to the dark, heavy shape of his anatomy. Jaeha tried desperately to avert his eyes, but the movement beneath the cloth proved hypnotic, drawing his gaze back despite himself.

Taegeon appeared not to notice the scrutiny. He merely leaned over and swept Jaeha’s bangs away from his forehead with one broad, calloused hand.

“I need to check whether Myeongsun stocked the supplies properly. Stay here.”

“……”

“Or,” Taegeon continued, his voice lowering into something playful and dangerous, “while I’m searching through the refrigerator, you could search through my pants and see what’s inside.”

Jaeha froze.

Taegeon had seen him staring. And, Jaeha had been caught red-handed.

Jaeha slapped both palms over his face, his silence serving as a wordless confession. Taegeon’s chuckle followed, warm and rich enough to fill the entire room, before the door clicked shut behind him.

Left alone in the sudden quiet, Jaeha realized that this was the first time he had ever slept in Taegeon’s room.

I stayed the night.

The knowledge that every object surrounding him belonged to Taegeon, that the entire space was an extension of the man himself, left a strange ache in Jaeha’s chest. A dense weight settled beneath his sternum, heavy with an emotion he could not properly name. He wanted to call it something more profound than mere pride, but no word seemed capable of holding it.

Because Taegeon’s bedroom occupied the second floor, the muffled sounds of him preparing a late breakfast never reached Jaeha.

I’ll lie here for a little while. Then I’ll secretly look around the room.

He fought against the heavy, narcotic drowsiness threatening to pull him under. He promised himself he would close his eyes for only a moment, just long enough to regain his breath before exploring the Alpha’s private space.

The room was desolate, but it was Taegeon’s. Because it belonged to him, the faint scent of sea salt and rugosa roses lingered in every corner.

Somehow, Jaeha felt dangerously, impossibly calm.

He drifted into a deep and dreamless sleep.

His eyes opened again only when Taegeon returned to wake him personally. Only then was Jaeha permitted to dress, and only then did they descend to the dining room together.

The meal was uninspired, though unexpectedly edible.

When the shameless cook asked whether it mattered as long as the food could be consumed, Jaeha quietly resolved that he would take charge of the kitchen from then on. It was not merely because Taegeon’s cooking was mediocre. A new and possessive desire had begun to take root inside him, urging him to feed the man something prepared with his own hands.

Jaeha found himself smiling from time to time.

Across the table, Taegeon remained as impassive as ever, but the atmosphere surrounding him was softer than Jaeha had ever known it to be. With his hair still damp and his usual defenses lowered, the Alpha looked younger somehow. For the first time, Jaeha thought Taegeon might even look younger than he did.

Perhaps Taegeon caught him entertaining such an impolite thought.

Without warning, Jaeha was swept from his chair and carried into the kitchen. Taegeon set him atop the island, spread his legs apart, and stepped between them.

Although Taegeon had promised not to penetrate him while he remained sore, he made no such promise about anything else.

Jaeha was forced to endure the wet, rhythmic sounds echoing behind him while his upper body lay pressed against the cold, unyielding marble. He wanted to tell Taegeon to stop, if only to preserve some fragment of his dignity, but every moan that escaped his lips betrayed what he truly wanted.

That day, Jaeha discovered for the first time how it felt to have his burning cheek pressed against a freezing slab of marble while every last remnant of his composure shattered.

The memory remained so visceral and overwhelming that it was only much later when Jaeha realized he had never properly looked around Taegeon’s room.

Lee Jaeha felt a profound and aching regret.

That opportunity never came again.

There would be countless nights when he remained awake, waiting for Taegeon to return, his eyes fixed blankly upon a tightly closed bedroom door that would never open for him again.

For a very long time, that was the only thing Jaeha knew how to regret.

***