Chapter 36

“Dante, you were really hungry, weren’t you?”

Damn. He had tried to eat as slowly as possible, but apparently, his desperation had still shown. When Dante lifted his head with an awkward, caught expression, both Mateo and Santino were watching him with wide eyes.

“I haven’t eaten a single meal today,” Dante confessed. “Mateo took pity on me and led me here.”

“Oh no, how did that happen?” Santino sighed, his expression softening with genuine concern. Maybe friends were alike in their abundance of pity.

While Mateo gestured to Santino and began whispering something directly into his ear, Dante quietly finished a piece of crostino. This was a food Dante actually recognized. Similar in appearance to bruschetta, though smaller, these appetizers were a staple. Thin, small slices of bread were toasted until crisp, then topped with whatever the kitchen fancied. Ta-da. Finished. Most often, as with this batch, they came piled with cured ham and shaved cheese.

“In that case,” Santino said, pulling back from Mateo with a bright smile, “I’ll bring something else from the kitchen for this handsome gentleman.”

“Good idea,” Mateo agreed. “Beer too, Santino. Yours as well!”

While Dante was distracted by the food, Santino disappeared into the back. Belatedly realizing he had lost far too much of his usual military composure over a plate of appetizers, Dante threw out a meaningless question to break the silence. “Does your friend work here?”

“Santino owns this place,” Mateo said proudly. “His family is well-off, so his parents opened the bar for him. He’s twenty-six, handsome, and incredibly popular. What do you think, Dante?”

What did he think? It had been only a few minutes, but Dante could no longer accurately remember Santino’s face. “He’s not bad.”

At the greatest compliment Dante was capable of offering a stranger, Mateo’s face instantly brightened. “Right?”

Dante blinked, slightly bewildered by why the boy was so intensely happy on his friend’s behalf, but he nodded anyway. Mateo abruptly sprang up from his seat.

“I’m going to go help Santino. Dante, eat my share too! I can come here and eat anytime, so don’t hold back. Haah, my eye really is accurate!”

Mateo, brimming with an inexplicable excitement, vanished in the direction Santino had gone. Dante had no idea why the younger man was so delighted, but he decided it was none of his business. By nature, Dante was indifferent to the life-form called men. The only reason he had shown Mateo this much tolerance was because the boy had spent the entire evening leading him around Rome and was kind enough to yield his food.

Without bothering with further formality, Dante finished both appetizer plates. Once his stomach was full, he felt the fog in his brain begin to lift. Perhaps the reason he had been so strangely listless and despairing today was simple, human hunger. He chewed over the basic biological truth that human beings needed to eat and sleep before they could think normally.

His mood, which had been sinking into a dark abyss whenever he sat still for even a moment, improved somewhat. His mind grew calmer with it. Ever since Rhys had declared the absolute end of their relationship, some part of Dante had been functioning entirely out of his mind. Now, reality was slowly returning.

Toying with the condensation on the beer glass in his hand, he looked through the bar’s wide front window. Along the narrow alley where dusk had completely settled, locals and tourists mingled together, moving toward their respective destinations.

Will Rhys and I become like that too? Just strangers passing in the night?

Until now, he had stubbornly believed that even though they had nothing in common, they were ultimately walking toward the same future. How ridiculous. For a man who had initiated their breakups at every minor turn, thinking this way was laughable. But somehow, the more often they had broken up in the past, the more Dante had come to believe that a permanent separation would never actually come for them. He had foolishly thought those fractures were actually molding them closer together.

I really was out of my mind…

Fine. It was time to admit it like an adult. They could not go back to the way they were before. Just as Rhys had said, Dante would always harbor suspicion regarding some hidden part of Rhys’s life in a dark corner of his heart, and Rhys did not believe Dante was capable of change. Their foundation of trust was a complete disaster.

He still loved Rhys unbearably, but letting him go would be better for Rhys in the long run. Dante had done everything he could. It would have been better if they had talked with this level of brutal honesty long ago, but it was too late now. Accepting reality was the only right thing left to do.

Even though he was still dying to know what Rhys was doing—and whether Rhys had thought of him even a little today—things would get better, wouldn’t they? They had to.

Yet, the confidence that had briefly surged alongside his full stomach gradually faded. People always said time was medicine, but Dante felt an ache in his chest that told him he would not forget Rhys no matter how many years passed. It was difficult to explain rationally. It felt as though the name Rhys had been physically engraved into the interior of his skull. Erasing it felt impossible without destroying himself.

“Dante, you’re making the saddest face again! I brought special medicine for Tino-Tino. Here!”

Perhaps his expression had darkened without his realizing it, because Mateo returned with fresh beers and an immediate fuss. A second heavy pint glass was set in front of him. Then Santino appeared, balancing two large plates in each hand like a seasoned restaurateur, and laid out a generous spread of food that filled the table.

“Don’t cling too much to a passing relationship, Dante,” Santino said smoothly. Instead of taking the empty seat beside Mateo, he deliberately slid into the booth next to Dante. “Let’s drink happily today to celebrate our meeting. Food and drinks are on me.”

Having a large, unfamiliar man press too close to his personal space was considerably annoying, but the dishes Santino had brought looked spectacular, so Dante decided to endure the proximity for the sake of hospitality.

“Now, cin cin! Let’s enjoy tonight!” Mateo cheered.

“Welcome to Rome, Dante,” Santino murmured, lifting his glass.

Dante clinked glasses with the two young men, then drank deeply in an attempt to drown out the thought of Rhys, if only for an hour.

***